In one motion.

"Insert and remove your card in one motion."

You ever notice that instruction on gas pumps, the automated Post Office machine, and similar credit/debit card readers? How the hell does one accomplish this feat? You slide it into the reader, and then you slide it out. That's two motions-- Two very good motions, she'll tell you if you know what you're doing. But I digress.

It's like the asinine question everyone gets asked at the airport: "Has anyone put anything into your bags without your knowledge?" If they did without my knowledge, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME? I WOULDN'T KNOW! All that needs to change with that standard question is to replace "Has" with "Could". I'm pretty sure the screener is trying to ascertain if you've been keeping an eye on your bag, but instead it sounds like an on-the-spot litmus test of latent psychic abilities. I've always wanted to point out the insanity of the question, but it would be just my luck if I caught someone in law enforcement without a sense of humor and having a bad day.

I'm sure everybody has noticed the Braille dots on the drive-up ATMs. Just for amusement, I might go to the bank's drive-up ATM when it's busy, wear dark sunglasses, lean well out of the car, pretend to read the dots while everyone else in line looks on in mortal terror, get my cash, and then maybe turn to the car behind me and shout: "Is anybody in front of me?"